TFIOS Alternate Ending
by Mia-Jane Lovegood
Summary: The ending of TFIOS, rewritten. Read it. You're gonna hate me when you're done. Authors Note: Throughout the fic there are chunks of text taken directly from TFIOS. I am not John Green nor am I trying to be John Green, but some chunks of text are taken directly from the book.
1. Chapter 1

_I took a few deep breaths and went back to the page. "I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a _bigger_ infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." _

Eight days after Gus' prefuneral, I had a tight feeling in my chest. I was wondering if my heart was telling me something, and grabbed my cell from the bedside table. I called Gus. "Hello?" A croaky voice answered. "Oh my God! Gus! Thank God! I thought you had died!" There were tears streaming down my face. "Hazel Grace," He said after a moment, and I just knew he was smiling, his Augustus Waters crooked smile was definitely on his face. "Why on Earth would I do a thing like that?" I rolled onto my back, laughing, tears still flowing down my cheeks. I hung up the phone, still laughing, and forgot about my aching chest.

I woke up screaming at 3am. Mom and Dad came running in, both still in their pyjamas. "Hazel, honey, what's wrong?" Mom was frantic, but I couldn't tell her, I just kept screaming, I was in too much pain. "Call nine-one-one! Now!" Mom shouted at Dad, and Dad quickly ran off. Mom sat with my head on her lap, stroking my hair.

When you go into the ER, one of the first things they ask you to do is rate your pain on a scale of one to ten, and from there they decide which drugs to use and how quickly to use them. I'd been asked this question hundreds of times over the years, and I remember once early on when I couldn't get my breath and it felt like my chest was on fire, flames licking the inside of my ribs fighting for a way to burn out of my body, my parents took me to the ER. A nurse asked me about the pain, and I couldn't even speak, so I held up nine fingers. Later, after they'd given me something, the nurse came in and she was kind of stroking my hand while she took my blood pressure and she said, "You know how I know you're a fighter? You called a ten a nine."

But that wasn't quite right. I called it a nine because I was saving my ten. And here it was, the great and terrible ten, slamming into me again and again as I lay screaming and sobbing as I was rushed into the ER. A nurse asked me to rate my pain, and I didn't stop screaming, or sobbing. I just used it. I used my ten. I held up ten fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke in the ICU, Mom holding one hand, Dad the other. There was a BiPAP breathing for me. "Mom?" I croaked, "How long…?" The question didn't need finishing.  
"3 days, honey." 3 days? In those 3 days anything could have happened. 3 days was a long time. What about…?  
"Augustus…" I croaked, wanting to know what happened.  
"What was that?" Mom asked. I could tell she had been crying.  
"Augustus…" I croaked again. "What. Happened. To. Augustus?" I took a breath between each word.  
"I'm here." There was a voice at the end of my bed. Mom put her arm under my head so I could see Gus at my feet. My immediate reaction was to try and hide. Unfortunately the lack of oxygen in my muscles made that feat impossible, so I was stuck, staring at the tall, one legged basketball player, who was always full of metaphorical resonance, who was the love of my life, sitting in a wheelchair at the foot of my bed.  
"How…?" How are you? How are you here? How haven't you died yet? All these questions hung in the air between us, and for a moment there was silence.  
"I had a miracle. All of a sudden the radiation started working. I'm not cancer free, but I'm pretty good. What about you Hazel Grace? What are you doing here?" Augustus smiled crookedly, as usual, although this smile lacked its usual sparkle. I shrugged as best I could, which was not well at all. Gus wheeled himself over to me. "There's a certain slant of light/On winter afternoons, That oppresses/like the weight/Of cathedral tunes." A tear drop landed on my forehead.  
"An Imperial Affliction…" I whispered. Gus nodded. "You memorized it…"  
"I memorized it for you, Hazel Grace, because I don't care what anybody else has to say, I love you. All we are is setbacks in evolution, but if I could trade my cancer for forgetting you, I would tell the person who offered to go screw themselves, because, Hazel Grace, I could not imagine my world without you." And with that, I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

It was 4:26am when my phone rang, 10 days after I had last seen Hazel in the ICU. It was the phone call I had been dreading. I picked it up. "Augustus speaking." I said in my 'It's 4am and you just woke me up' voice. Hazel's mom was on the other end, and I could hear the voice of a parent that had been destroyed. She told me she was sorry, and I told her that I was sorry, and then she said that Hazel had had a few hours of unconsciousness before she died. That made me feel a little better. Then I asked Hazel's Mom, "Hazel wanted me to write her a eulogy. I was wondering if…"  
"I was going to ask if you would." I hung up the phone. It was then the crying started; great big ugly sobs that racked my entire body. Over and over the waves of sadness crashed onto my beach of emotions. I didn't sleep for the rest of that night.


	4. Chapter 4

I wheeled myself into the kitchen that morning, unshaven, having not slept well, and tear stained. "Gus, what's the matter?" my mother asked  
"Hazel…" I didn't want to finish the sentence, with tears already rolling down my cheeks.  
"What about Hazel, honey?" Mom asked, unsure of how to handle the situation.  
"Hazel's gone…" I whispered. Mom said nothing. She just got up and hugged me, tears streaming down my face. I let myself cry as my mother hugged me.

The first person I called was Isaac. He picked up after two rings. "Hello?" He asked

"Isaac…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Who is this?" He asked. I completely forgot he couldn't see my name on the caller ID.

"It's Augustus." I said quietly. There was a silence.

"Gus? You ok?" Isaac asked. I shook my head, then realised he couldn't see me, so I explained.

"Hazel. Support-Group Hazel. Night-Of-The-Broken-Trophies Hazel. Not-Your-Evil-Ex-Girlfriend Hazel." Isaac cut me off.

"Yes I know who Hazel is. What about her?"

"Eight days after my prefuneral, she was taken into hospital, and now… and now… and now she's gone…" there was more silence.

"Stay there Gus. I'm coming over." I hung up the phone, then dialled a number subconsciously. The number rang out, before the perky voicemail message came on. "You've reached Hazel's phone, leave a message!" I allowed the voicemail to beep, and I just kind of sat there for a moment, wishing she was on the other end. I realised that the only person I wanted to talk to about the death of Hazel Grace Lancaster was Hazel Grace Lancaster.

Hazel's parents rang 3 days later, to tell me the funeral would be on Saturday. 5 days away. I started writing my eulogy on that day, and spent the next 5 trying to make it right. I imagined Hazel at my funeral. What if I hadn't had the miracle? What if I had died, instead of her? I had a brief vision of her tucking a packet of cigarettes into my coffin. That made me smile a little. I listened to The Hectic Glow as I wrote.


End file.
